I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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