dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Still dying that you shit outside
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
