is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
