im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
