Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
