kristin has been a bad kristin
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize