It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
