Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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