She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
