So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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