I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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