how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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