Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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