I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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