I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
