i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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