you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize