Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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