Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
