she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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