We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize