I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
two words: eviction party
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
