We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize