brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
