let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ladies don't puke and tell
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