Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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