it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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