The maid of honor just puked.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
