I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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