Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
