Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
