Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Drake has all the answers
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
