How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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