he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
