Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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