He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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