dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The air was thick with penises
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
