Sponge bath it is.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
