Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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