Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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