so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
