I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this boner is exhausting
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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