So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
