She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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