u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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