You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Found the puke drawer
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
