If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
