Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize