My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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