We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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