Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
