his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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