We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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