just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
