Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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