Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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