I'm lost and stupid without you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
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She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
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MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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