I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
