I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
