ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
