There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
