To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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