Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
