Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize