Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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