sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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